The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
