But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
