is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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