Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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