He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
