so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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