Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i don't like sucking hair
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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