I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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