Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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