I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize