my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
