im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I understand Curling. That high.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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