Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
