There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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