I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How's work?
Spinning.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize