Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
