I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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