When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
