I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
