I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
