You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
