it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
