I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
