Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
