oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
