You're a womanizer and a bitch.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
