Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
