Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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