Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
