I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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