i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the condom got lost in my hair
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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