My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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