In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
