my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
