My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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