dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
