Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
