It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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