I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
