just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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