And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
