What a fucking waste of an outfit
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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