I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
