I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
