she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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