Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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