It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
