i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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