Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
