Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This is not my ceiling
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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