Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She bit a glass in half.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
