I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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