I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Mom said you looked used
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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