stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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