My brain says no but my pants say off.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
