piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
