What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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