I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
