Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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