so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize