So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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