i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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