how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize