Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Are we still banned from the library?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Randomize
