Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
