I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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