Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize