i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
