the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
