Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
