I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I died a long time ago.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
