So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize