I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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