just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
