I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
