last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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