Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
