There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
