He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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