Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
